Prabhu n Ferrari

Dear NN,

I will be traveling abroad shortly, for an onsite assignment. I have heard lots of stories about flight journeys, which make me bit worried. I tend to get bored soon, and am not very good at judging people. What am worried is about getting into a conversation with morons. If I get to know if the person sitting next to me is a moron, I would not talk to that person and maintain a dignified silence all through the journey or pretend to be asleep. Please help me by giving some tips on how to find if the person is a moron.
-Aero.Smith, Indira Nagar, Bengalooru

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Dear NN,
I recently maamanared. The wedding went on very well except for one thing. My son in law refused for janavasam. I am sad about it. Dont know what to do now, since the wedding got over. Is there some way to force son in law to do this janvasam? I have one more daughter in the pipeline. I mean, pipeline for getting married.
Maaman.R, Chennai.

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Dear NN,
My husband works in an IT company. On most of the days he picks me up from my office on the way, or somewhere nearby. The problem is he keeps wearing the ID card tag even after he is out of office. I have told him umpteen no of times to remove the tag, the moment he steps out of office. He just doesn’t seem to listen. I don’t want everyone on road to know what his name is or where he works. Any tips?
-CID Sakunthala

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Dear Nachu,
I am buying a new car. I am wondering how to answer people, when almost everyone keeps asking the same set of questions. Is there any FAQ or Ready-Reckoner you can come up with?
Krishnan Iyen.Car

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Dear NN,
I am facing a problem attending close relatives weddings and such functions, at my home town. Everytime I attend such a thing, some relatives and wellwishers come and ask me ‘Naan yaar theriyaradha’, ‘Eppo kalyanam pannika pore’ and other such questions. Worst part is many people ask me such questions. How do I handle these people, and keep saying same thing time and again? Please help!
-Nostalgia Girija, sister of Vambu Vanaja
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Dear Nachu,
I read your suggestion for ‘What plans for weekend?’. Nice. But at same time, there are many people who ask on Monday ‘Hey, How was your weekend?’. How do we tackle them?
-Otherside.Coin, Nasik

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Dear NN,
Off late so many people have started asking ‘What plans for the weekend?’. Why on earth should someone have plans for the weekend? Avan avan life/career/finance idha plan panradhukuLLaye maNdai kaayaran. Idhula weekend vera plan paNNi tholayanuma? What difference is it going to make? Please suggest me some good replies that I can use, when people ask me ‘What plans for the weekend?’
-Nachu’s Manasaatchi
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Dear NN,

I am getting married pretty soon. But the thing is, I don’t know how to tie a Dhoti. Am scared if it will fall down. And I haven’t worn blazer, tie and stuff in my life Is there some person who teaches these things?
-Vesh.Tee, T.Nagar (Behind Venkatanarayana Road Venkatachalaphy temple). Bus Route. 12C, 13, 10, 47A

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Dear NN,

I am thinking of buying a house. But the thing is, my parents are looking for a girl for me. Do I book a flat right now, or do that after wedding?

-May.S.Three, Bengaluru

Dear May.S.Three,

Buy it right away. And dont buy anything, till your 1st wedding anniversary. Even if you buy a handkerchief, people will ask you ‘Enna sir. Pudhu Kerchief paLapaLakkudhu? Maamanar veetu gift aa? So buy it right away

Dear Nachu Namasivayam,

I am meeting a prospective guy for wedding. The time is too short for me, since my parents are conservative. I have just one evening to spend with him. What should I look for?
- Angayar. Kanni, Bangalore

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Dear Nachu N,
Today is Karadayan Nonbu. This is the first time for me. My in laws are coming from chennai, to help my wife in this. It seems the ceremony is at 5 or so in the evening. Shall I take full day leave? Should I wear 9-yard veshti for this? And how do I entertain my in-laws? They will be here for the entire week?
-A.M.M.Aanji, Bangalore
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Dear NN,

I recently shifted to Bangalore. I am staying at company guest house. I need to find a house soon. I have heard there are lots of girl’s colleges in Bangalore. Should I find a house that’s closer to office, where there is a girl’s college as well?
-Short Sight, Chennai

Dear Short Sight,

Do not find a house near office. Even on weekends you will encounter your colleagues. Same faces again. And this is a cricket crazy country. On days of matches, your friends will come to your house to watch the match. Doesn’t make sense. Finally, do you like looking at girls? Ok. There is a girls college near your house. What will you do apart from ogling at them? You can find better girls on television According to swami sightananda, you benefit by sighting girls from your office/college etc, since there are chances of you interacting/talking to them! And finally, ensure there aren’t any cows or dogs near your house. Tomorrow, you might bring some girl home. And while walking, if there are any cows the girl might say ‘Ayyo amma’ and pull your hand. You might feel the pinch, and the shirt will get crumpled as well!