Am not interested in iPad, iPhone, 3G, 4G, 12G(KK Nagar to Anna Square) events. Thank you!

1. No care about safety.
2. Civilian safety at risk.

I would advice anyone not to travel by this train. The condition of the coaches are worser than any mode of transport one can imagine. Worst part is they charge more than the mysore shatabdi which has far better coaches.

Maybe Arundhati Roy can flag off the train once it is renamed as Naxal express.

Though it might sound like a Vijayakanth movie scene, something like that has already happened.

Is it that easy to steal a train?

It seems a guy called Anjan lived there around 90 years ago. He was a very popular guy. And one day he suffered from severe headache and nothing could cure him. And he didn’t know what to do . His wife who was cooking that time felt that if she applies something hot he will be alright and in the heat of the moment she mixed ghee, haldi(manjal) and stuff and applied it on Anjan’s forehead.

And to everyone’s surprise his headache got cured. And they named the combination balm Amrutanjan.

(or)

New glass Azhagiri as Home minister?

Govinda(Not the MP) Govinda(Not the MP)

‘Since I couldn’t find time to organize my thoughts about what I call as “Sensible Capitalism”, I am linking to related articles in the mean time.‘

Sample:
Q: Why we have so many temples if god is everywhere?
A: Air is everywhere, but we need a fan to feel it.

And one more
There is no good or bad in this world. Its all in your thinking. What people call congestion in a bus, becomes atmosphere in a disco.

I was not sure if the previous owner was a guy or a girl. I had my doubts. But when I saw the message template section today my doubts got cleared. There was this message stored in the middle of other Nokia standard messages like ‘Sorry I am not able to take your call’, ‘I will be late’ etc. It definitely was a guy, who used this mobile. Because, the message that was stored read

‘R U Angry?’ A sentence no girl would have uttered in her life, leave alone storing it in the mobile.

When you say Robot, people in my age group would remember the DD Serial ‘Giant Robot’. Later we even had a Tamil serial on Robots. Who can forget one finger Krishna rao, posing as a Robot? I am not sure if that serial (Amlu?) was for introducing the concept of Robots to Tamilians, or for introducing the safety measures one has to adhere to whilst handling LPG cylinders. The only thing I remember from that serial is ‘One finger’ dying after eating (?) a LPG cylinder. After that it has been a long wait. I absolutely have no idea when Shankar’s Robot is going to be released, or what it is going to contain, but here are my (Rather Machi group of Companies) plans for the future. For certain things we will use robots, and for certain things there will be special devices.

If you observe, the most important thing in any Tambram festival is the ‘Madi’ factor. But involving many human beings dilutes the madi factor. To avoid that, we are planning to introduce a series of Madi robots to keep the culture and customs intact. Robots don’t wear any clothes, so there is nothing to worry about their Madiness. Secondly, Robots don’t eat food and there is no ‘Paththu’ factor.

Panneer Robot (This Robot will sing the Gowri Kalyana vaibogame song)
Silk sari might look good on women, but they definitely don’t smell good. Imagine around 100 silk saree clad women, that too in Chennai. Panneer Robot will target women and spray extra panneer on them. And it will not be just one time. They will have wheels, and as a result they are mobile. They will monitor the wedding hall and once in 30 minutes all ladies will be subject to panneer abhishekam.

Kasi Yathrai Scooter (This scooter will sing the paalale kaal alambi song)
Invariably most of the wedding halls are in main roads, and the dust bins are quite close to the main entrance. As a result lots of stray dogs roam freely near the wedding hall entrance. They are not distinctly visible, but a pair of observant eyes cannot miss them. Not many people realize the potential risk, the bridegroom is subject to when he walks half naked with an umbrella in hand. Actually you will rarely find bridegrooms laughing or smiling during Kasi Yathrai. Poor guy would have worn the panchakachcham just sometime back and his thought process will be like ‘Oh no. I hope it doesn’t fall down now’, ‘Why are people from the bus staring at me?’ etc. If you add the stray dog risk, then the poor guy will run away from the wedding hall or rather refuse for kasi yathrai. To avoid all this and also to make the guy smile, we plan to introduce a KY Scooter (No, not KR Vijaya Scooter). This Scooter will look like a wheelchair and will run in circles. All the guy needs to do is sit on it. The maapiLLai thozhan can stand behind like a dog sledge driver, hold the umbrella (There is an umbrella stand too) and operate it. So all the bride groom needs to do is smile, and he has additional advantage of lifting his legs if the stray dogs come closer. Last but not the least, this scooter will also have a leg washer (made in silk) attached. The bride’s dad can pour milk in the washer and operate the ‘milk aale kaal alambi silk aale leg thudaiththu’ routine. Sometimes people don’t check how warm the milk is before pouring it on the bridegroom’s leg. The KY scooter will have a temperature control in it so that there are no untoward incidents.

Maalai Maathinal Seesaw (This seesaw will sing the maalai maatRinaaL kodhai maalai maatRinaaL song, followed by the manmathanukku maalayittaaye song)
The bride will be placed on one end of the seesaw and bridegroom on other hand. To keep the tradition intact, it can be operated on either side by the uncles of the bride and groom. In this way we eliminate the risk of a poor 50+ year old man lifting the bride or groom. What if he drops them? Or by mistake messes their attire? The seesaw machine will be preprogrammed in a way that the bride eventually wins.

Kannoonjal Robot (This robot will sing the Kannoonjal aadi irundhaaL kanchanamalai song)
Oonjal ceremony is a risk for everyone who watches it. They have to keep a close watch on which direction the maamis hand is moving. Or else, before they release the rice ball will fall on their shirt/saree/head depending on the maami’s horse power. And there are chances of maamis getting upset with the order of ‘who throws first?’ sequence. To avoid all this, we have the Kannoonjal robot. It will have 60+ handles. All the maamis will have to do is just hold the handles, simulatenously. When the SasthrigaL presses the start button, the robot will throw color rice balls in different directions after the three-time-clockwise-rotation thing. At this time another robot will catch this color rice ball. The kids will be fascinated by this, and will not bother squeezing the bride and groom on the oonjal.

..to be continued with items like elbow stand, madisar maker, naan-yaar-theriyaradha-protector,aarathiyer(Not Aarthi Iyer) etc in a separate post.

Background is important not only for people who apply for bank loans, but also for people who send Valentine cards. Pink is the most preferable color. Choose a pink background. Not a plain pink, but something which is like this. http://www.hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/back-htm/back80.htm

Step 2: Message Header

Only fools write precisely when it comes to forward mails. So start with something that kind of misleads the reader.

‘It is the day, when I wish to tell you I am not gay!’
Mark it in bold and change the color to dark blue or so, and increase the font size. And leave lots of gap before and after the message. The reader must scroll down.

Step 3: Animals

The message is supposed to be cute. How to make a message cute? Add pictures of babies or dogs/cats etc. Imagine you holding a rose like this? The recipient will go mad seeing your picture. So it is better to copy paste photo of an animal.

E.g.

Source: http://www.vistawallpapers.com/image.php?v=./data/media/171/Puppy_Love.jpg

Step 4: Meaningless Message

Add first part of your message. It must have at least five to six lines of something related to love. Not necessary that it must be meaningful.

I want to be your valentine
But all your server did was quarantine
To paint the town red, I went to buy turpentine
But the queue for you is serpentine
Oh my dear Valentine

Mark the lines in bold font, and make it italic

Step 5: Animal Photo

Add some more photos of animals. Last time it was a puppy. This time try some other animal (No crocodiles please.)

Source : http://www.webweaver.nu/clipart/img/holidays/valentines/panda-heart.gif

Step 6: Meaningless Message

Next part of your meaningless message

My heart beats for you
But do you know, your dad beat me because of you?

Step 7: Kids picture

Source: http://www.absolutestockphoto.com/images/userpics/10007/thumb_Absolute_7_7341.jpg

Step 8: Meaningless Message

I wait in front of your apartment
Whiling away my time by reading a book on time management
There are no nails left to bite
Or mails to write
Why is my trouser so tight?
Is it because of my ever expanding waist?
Oh dear I want to hold you tight
To give your sister a fright

Step 9: End with another photo.

You must end this with a kiss. Well, your TFT monitor or Notebook monitor might not like you kissing it. Instead use this

Source: http://www.newyorkstatealpacas.com/images/aspenwood4.jpg

P.S. If you directly forward the mail, no one will read it. So forward it once to your account so that your mail subject looks like Fwd: etc etc. Then forward it to your friends. Only then the reputation of the mail will increase.

Life is cruel, I tell you!

Hmmm. Will things improve? Does someone care? It didn’t happen to you or me right? Why bother?

1. According to Tamil culture, the buyer and seller should hold hands. Rather fingers
2. Cover the hands with towel
3. Buyer catches finger of the seller. If he catches 3 fingers then 3000. 2 fingers, 2000 Rs. Or rather, in multiples of the no of fingers caught
4. Even the seller can catch the finger first

Now don’t ask me why I posted this. Information is wealth