A lion is shown in the forest. Lion keeps walking back and forth. There are herds of cattle in front of the Lion, but it is not hunting. Suddenly a fox comes running with a chit. Lion opens the chit and sees the word ‘OK’. And then it rushes towards the cattle. Immediately we show Vijay and a group of dancers dancing under the hot sun in Parangimalai. Since it is a Vijay opening song, it should rhyme with da.

Lion kooda permission ku line la nikkum da
Adhu enga vettaikaaran da
Line cross pannadhe da
T* vittu ippave odi poidu da

Once the title track is over, Vijay is shown as an auto driver. Add some scenes where he is shown as a man with good heart. Especially for bokkai vaai thaatha and paati’s. Heroine two wheeler scooty hits Vijay by mistake. But since she is daughter of powerful man, she puts case against Vijay. Vijay goes to police station threatens the police. And says he will hunt whoever does bad to the society.

Some comedy scenes. Heroine keeps twisting and turning on her bed, thinking about Vijay’s hunting dialogues in the police station. Next day she goes to meet Vijay and says ‘Vettai pathi solra nee autokaaran illai. Vettaikaaran. Naan MTV oda VJ Hunt la kalandhuka poren. Since you are a hunter can you help me?’. They fall in love and Vijay teaches her dance movements, cat walk etc. And there is a room in Vijay’s house which is always locked.

Meanwhile the policeman who got bashed up by Vijay is a kai aal of villain who happens to be the heroines father. They are doing some shady business and the gangmen are beaten up by Vijay frequently. So they have a score to settle with Vijay.

One day accidentally heroine opens the door and we just see her shocked face.

Interval.

After interval we see the other side of Vijay where he is helping infants in orphanage and also senior citizens in mudhiyor illam. One bokkai vaai thaatha and paati sing a song praising Vijay and all infants sing la la la la. And one of the kids goes choo choo in comedians dress.

Then there are some scenes where villain keeps plotting for Vijay’s downfall and how Vijay overcomes all that. Suddenly it is nobel prize season. And to the surprise of everyone they announce that one Indian has won the Nobel prize for peace. The person who won the price is pazhani.

Who is pazhani?

Flashback. We see an ordinary boy who is having major problems in his house as his parents leave their parents in an old age home. And the school in which he is studying, is used for selling kalla saarayam by local rowdy. The boy is Vijay. Local rowdy is Heroines father. That time Vijay takes an oath (English meaning). He will hunt everyone who stops kids from studying, and whoever sends elders to old age home. His target is to help people with No-pal(Infants and elders). He starts a No-Pal illam for these people. And the people whom heroine saw behind the closed doors were her grand parents who were sent to mudhiyor illam.

Recognizing all this, Pazhani aka Vijay gets nobel prize for his no-pal effort. And he was in disguise to take revenge on the villain.

La la la la

P.S. I havent watched Vettaikaran, nor its trailers.
* – Theatre

Fun apart, are they going to conquer ‘Mount Everest’? No. They don’t even conquer St Thomas Mount.
They have to do things like cross from one wall to another with help of a rope (Add a dozen helpers, ambulance for emergency situation, bed and sand cushion in case they fall down). So if you jump from one wall to other, then you are brave and you have no fear. There are some more amazing games like walking on a narrow wooden plank for 50 metres (Ofcourse with a lifeguard and 10 people around). If you do all this you are brave.

Funniest part is they replay (With english ezhavu music) when someone commits a mistake, as if it is the magic ball that bowled Mike Gatting. One soplaangi lady fell down from 3 feet and sprained her ankle. Immediately ambulance rushed in and she was interviewed from within the ambulance. That peter soplangi spoke as if she sustained a major injury while conquering mount everest.

As usual this program is aruthufied(anchored) by Anu Hassan, with amazing running commentary, who thinks wearing all black means being brave. Well only a brave person will wear all blacks in Chennai( Please exclude men in black like captain). Watching Hollywood movies in Tamil is a much more braver act than what these clowns do.

Did I tell you that this program is sponsored by some Parvathy hospital who specialize in Orthopedic treatment? Maybe Kilpauk Mental Hospital should have sponsored this program.

‘aNu aLavu bayam illai’ should have been named as ‘thuLi kooda mooLai illai’. Rejetted!

Seldom does one get to know what a movie has in store, just by looking at the title card. In Villu, director P.Deva tries to warn the audience by going in for the song ‘Achcham enbadhu madamayada, anjamai dravidar udaimaiyada’. I think he wanted to actually say ‘Indha padam paaka vandhu irukkiye. Nee oru madayan da’.

Before watching Villu, you might not know what genre this movie belongs to. But when you see a group of police officers walking towards a conference room, where the chief displays the photo of a terrrorist (To be frank he looks like a NRI posing for tamilmatrimony) and says Interpol wants to catch him, you get to know that it belongs to Mokkai genre.

Having accomplished the genre, director P.Deva focuses on the intro scene for the hero. As usual there are some bad guys who have no job but to err do bad things. So Vijay comes flying through a street to rescue the people. On the way, its quite windy and he is completely covered with davanis and duppattas. One lady asks ‘Who is this? Spider man or Super Man’. Another lady says ‘Pokkiri Man’. Honestly he actually looks like NaiduHall sorry Naihaa man in this getup. Bad guy tries to be a duchadhanan and strips vijay out of these davanis and duppattas.

Next comes the intro song for Vijay. ‘Rama rama rama kitta villa kaetten. Bheema kitta gadhayai kaetten’. Paavam producer. Padam edukaradhukku munnadi P.Deva kitta kadhayai kaettaro? Anyways Vijay proves to be Naihaa brand ambassador, by needlessly showing his azhukku banian in the middle of the song.

When the villain comes to India in a cargo ship Vijay helps him by identifying the police who are dressed like workers in the port. How does Vijay identify the police? Just by looking at their shoes. Its brown in color. What a logic eh? Later we have Nayan taking bath in lake, Vijay making fun of her, she getting irritated. In many of these scenes, Vijay is seen wearing some nice spaghetti tops below his shirt. I personally feel it would have suited Nayan than Vijay.

At many stages in the movie you can understand what went through the mind of the cinematographer. Ayya thaanga mudiyalada saami must have been his reaction, as the camera oscillates needlessly at umpteen no of times in the movie. It’s all a maze typical to Vijay movies. After spending many sleepless nights, I think I have deciphered the user manual for a Vijay movie

1. Vijay is a porukki
2. Vijay’s lover hates him initially
3. Vijay’s lover is somehow associated with Vadivelu
4. Vijay fights villain (PrakashRaj)
5. Vijay sings duet with lover
6. Vijay makes fun of Vadivelu
7. Repeat steps 4,5 and 6 in same or different order
8. Insert Amma sentiment
9. Insert flashback (In this movie, Vijay’s dad was a sincere army officer)
10. Lover knows truth
11. Vijay is not actually a porukki, but a sincere police officer or army officer
12. Villain is defeated by Vijay.

Though Villu follows the same formula as mentioned above, one must appreciate P. Deva for his innovations like

1. Store Thirupathi Laddu in swiss bank locker, to cheat Prakashraj
2. Show Vijay in Army uniform, to tell the world ‘Uniform poatta mattum army officer aagida mudiyadhu.’ This was the most hilarious part of the movie.
3. How do you stun the villain who is holding someone as a captive? Break open the head of another villain with wood. The main villain is stunned and loses his weapon.

I wont be surprised if Vijay is Obama(In disguise) in the next movie, who has migrated to Tamilnadu to take revenge against Prakashraj.

Then we have a flashback in which captain goes to the bank to take a DD. But since the person in the counter is rude, captain decides to complain to the manager. To our surprise we have the beautiful heroine(paavam) as the bank manager. Captain is stunned by her beauty and blabbers like ‘Gounder edukka vandhen DD la aaL illai. Sorry. DD edukka vandhen Gounder(counter) la aaL illai’. Anyways, Captain falls in love and she agrees to marry him. Her brother puts only one condition. ‘Neenga adhigam pesa koodadhu’. Captain paathu ippadi sonna mudhal and kadaisi aaL avar dhaan.
PTC na Police Training College
The girl refuses to marry him after she comes to know he is from Police Training College and not Pallavan. Muruga! Later all is well, and we get to see the first duet. 43 minutes after the movie starts. For the first time in history, we have the transcript between choreographer and Captain
Choreo: Sir. Pul la padunga sir.
Vijayakanth: Cooling glass(Goggles) oda va?
Choreo: Aaama sir. Appadiye pana maratahula vavaala paarunga
Vijayakanth: OK
Choreo; Sir. Stand up. Heroine right la vizhuvaanga. Dupatta va maalayai aa aaki avangala pidinga
Vijayakanth: OK
Choreo: Sir
Vijayakanth: Theriyum. Heroine left la dhaane vizhuvaanga?
Choreo: Sir. Fast aa nadanga sir. Appuram konjam reverse la nadanga sir. Heroine pinaala saaivanga sir. Back la irundha avangala pidinga sir.
Vijayakanth: Avanga iduppula pidikanuma?
Choreo: Illai sir. Enga neenga andha madhiri panniduveengalo appadinu avanga kaiyaala marachipaanga sir. Neenga correct aa avanga kaiya pidicha porum.
(Check image)
Choreo: Sir. Jeep oattunga sir. Ayyo sir. Adhu tractor illai. Jeep.

After this the movie gets back to non captainish captain movie, and gets very interesting. Operation Braindead is the theme for the next half hour, where captain discovers about the undeclared war. Normal cine goers might like this part of the movie, as it seems to be very logical to the utter dismay of Captain regulars.

Later, the story and captain move to Canada where captain utters punch dialogues like ‘Naan oru adi eduthu vakkaradhukku munnadi pinnadi pathu adi paarpen. Adhu bayam illai. Munechcharikkai’. Being Chiranjeevai(literal meaning, not the telugulu super lu star lu), Captain foils all the death attempts with help of another good looking babe(Ayyo paavam). Then, we get to see our captain in full acsan as he says ‘Acsan first formaalie(formality) negst’, ‘Ovvoru manushanukkum edhiriye avan manasula irukkara paasam dhaan’, ‘Ennada. Velai pesariya. poNam vikkara broker nee.’ Captain cares a damn about formalities in Canada and tries to investigate in his own way causing major discomfort to the second heroine.

Finally, after what seems an enternity we reach the climax(ouch!) err the end of the movie. Villain tries to kill captain by sending 100 white pigs. He he Do I need to say Captain escapes? By the way i forgot to tell. Heroine is deaf. She also joins the bandwagon to save the nation. And since she is afraid, captain will convince her to keep away from it she removes her hearing aid. Brilliant! And then we have the physics defying moment in the climax. Captain and villain are in second floor mottai maadi. They jump down towards the railway track vertically and when the train crosses, the horizontally enter the train. I better go and catch hold of my physics professors who failed to teach me these things. I feel cheated.

Anyways, with that train fight movie ends. Its a very different captain movie. There are enough dose of captain comedy for his die hard fans, and there are many logical scenes for normal cine goers. But somewhere the diector misses the plot and fails to convince anyone. Neither the normal cine goer, nor a captain fan. But still I would suggest all captain fans to watch this movie atleast once.

Post Script: At the end of the movie they say Captain went on a padh yatra all over India and lots of youth joined his movement, and India became a superpower in 5 years.

Mr Karan meets Cheran with a coffee.

Coffee with Cheran

Karan: Hi Cheran. Good Morning. Nice to meet you.

Cheran: Good Morning. How come you wanted to meet me, when there are so many big names in Tamil Cine industry?

Karan: Only you can compete with me in making a 3.5 hr movie. And invariably we both are experts in making audience cry. So I thought I will discuss with you the fine points of making a tamil movie.

Cheran: Aah. Ok. Who is producing the movie?

Karan: I will do that. Dont worry about the money. BTW, I want movie name to start with K. And it should be a tamil name

Cheran: Hmmm. How about ‘Kuchi Kuchi Udachaaga’? It means ‘Stick stick they broke’
Karan: Wow. Sounds really close to my favorite movie ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’. Ok. But the meaning is not that good. Any other name?

Cheran: How about ‘Pasu maatuku vakkol vachaacha?’ It means have you kept the fodder for the cow?

Karan: P

Cheran: Rest room is that side. You go.

Karan: Huh? No. I didn’t mean pee. I meant the movie name should start with K and not with P.

Cheran: oh that way. How about Kanji Kanji kudipaaLa aval? Will she drink cereal?

Karan: Hmmm. Sounds interesting. Now my target is this. Movie should have songs, family sentiment, romance and if possible infidelity as well. I have some formulas for Hindi movies. Is there any such formula in Tamil movies? My intention is to make the audience cry.

Cheran: Ok. There is a very thin line between making Tamil audience cry and laugh. If you overdo it a little bit, it will become a comedy scene. For instance, in Chandramukhi movie actor Prabhu tried to make the audience cry by saying a dialogue ‘Enna kodumai Saravanan idhu’ which means ‘Saravanan, what a tough situation?’ but that ended up being the funniest line ever in Tamil Cinema.

Karan: Oh oh oh. Is it tough then?

Cheran: Dont worry. There is a strategy for it. For instance lets assume our hero goes to his office. And there is an audit that day. Normally people will take shots like a car hitting him and he getting into a hospital etc. Thats boring. Instead, we can make the hero go by bicycle to the bus stand. In the middle, his tyre should get punctured and chain gets cut. After that, when he is on the bus a young fat kid should stand on this guys leg. And the govt office employee standing next to him, will give him tiffin box soodu

Karan: What is tiffin box soodu?

Cheran: Tiffin Box soodu is the thing that every one who travels by MTC in Chennai would relate to. School kids and government office employees carry their lunch in a stainless steel tiffin box. So when one touches the bag by mistake, they get this soodu(Burn). Almost everyone would have been on the receiving end.

Karan: Lovely. I like to make movies that strikes a chord with the audience. Ok. Now how will this scene make the audience cry?

Cheran: Thats where positioning comes to play. Since its a three hour movie, the interval would be after 1.5 hours or so. By this time, people would be on the edge of their seats wanting to visit the restroom. So if you torture them further by making them remember of tiffin box soodu, they will surely cry. And definitely no human being can laugh when their bladder is full. So the chances of it becoming a comedy scene is also less.

Karan: Very good. Ok. I want to have a song in foreign local. But I don’t want to go abroad just for a song like other directors. There should be some story in abroad as well.

Cheran: Since you wanted sentiment, lets club it into a sentimental song. Heroine will be from chennai, but working temporarily in Switzerland. She will call hero from there, and her voice will be shivering, since its cold. Hero will take sweater from India and reach Switzerland. Heroine will be very happy. They will sing duet, where Hero will make kanji and ask her to drink since its good for the cold. But heroine will refuse saying that, she wants Cognac or Rum.

Karan: Oh wonderful. We can take the latter part of the song in a nice bar

Cheran: No. Wait. According to Tamil Culture only a man can drink. Women should drink Kanji only. Otherwise the cultural police will make life miserable for us

Karan: Oh ok. Now where does infidelity come into picture?

Cheran: At the end of the song, heroine will faint. After a visit to the doctor, they will find that she is pregnant. But its not because of our hero.

Karan: Now thats interesting.

Cheran: Hero will get irritated and get back to India. With this the first half ends

Karan: Ok. Now we are half way through. I see good scope for sentiments in second half

Cheran: Yeah. Anyways, we need to end the story right? Hero and Heroines common friend will meet the hero in chennai and ask him ‘What sir, have you learnt car driving now?’. Hero will be stunned and say ‘I dont have money to buy a 2 wheeler. Why car?’. The friend will say ‘Oh you dont know. heroine is in switzerland now, only to save money for you’

Karan: Oh

Cheran: Yes. We can show the reason for Heroines pregnancy like this. She will be contacted by a couple in Swiss, who want her to be the surrogate mother of their baby. They want theTesttube baby. This is because the lady is too old, and she cannot conceive and they dont have kids. And in return heroine will be given 4 lakh rupees. Using this money she wanted to buy a Tata indicab and gift it to the hero, so that he can be a city taxi driver and make a living.

Karan: Wow. So innovative, and am sure it will make the audience cry. Very good. I liked it

Actually, we do not know what happened after this as the Machi TV crew ran away from Karan and Cheran as they could not bear the torture!

I somehow missed this masterpiece when it was released. The movie has Napoleon, Vijayakumar, Radhika, Manjula and some young kapple in the cast.

Vijayakumar and Napoleon are Thavil and Nadhaswaram vidhvaans. Radhika is Vijayakumars sister and Napoleons wife. Manjula is Vijayakumars wife . There is a pretty unique opening for a tamil movie. There is a duet featuring Vijayakumar and Napoleon. Err, only Vijayakumar and Napoleon dance while Manjula and Radhika stand by the side. Guess the choreographer rented a gym exercise video cassette instead of dance steps video cassette. As a result you find Vijayakumar and Napoleon doing exercise for a folk song composed using Mridangam Thavil and Nadhaswaram. Thankfully KTV beamed some commercials after this song, so that viewers can recover from the after effects of exercise dance.

As usual Napoleon has a younger brother and Vijayakumar a younger sister. But Vijayakumar’s sister brings a friend along for the temple festival. That girl, Saroja, is the heroine. She challenges the hero to climb the kazhumaram(or whatever that slippery thing is called) , and if he does she will give him her ring. The hero does it and takes the ring from her. Saroja suddenly faints after this. I was wondering if she fainted looking at hero climbing the tree, but it turns out that she has flowered..err..come of age(Vayasukku vandhutaa). And she keeps crying. When Vijayakumar consoles her saying it is natural for all girls, she says she is an orphan. Immediately Vijayakumar screams saying ‘Inimela nee dhaan ma en poNNu’ and looks at Raja(hero) and says ‘Dei nee dhaan da maapla. kattuda pandhala’. And a yellow watering festival(manjaL neeratu vizha) happens for Saroja.

Raja and Saroja fall in love. Suddenly Sarojas dad comes from jail and tells her that he is her dad. Now Radhika and Napoleon visit Saroja’s dad to girl ask for their brother (paiyanukku poNNu kaekkaraanga). But when Radhika sees Sarojas dad, both of them are shocked. Some flashback scene where Sarojas dad killed Radhikas mom or someone. That is all. I switched off the television.

What else would happen? This is my guess on the movie plot. Sarojas dad will stop her from getting married to Raja. Napoleon Radhika and Vijayakumar will try to serthufy(unite) them. In the middle some ego clash between Vijayakumar and Radhika. And someone should die in the climax, possibly vijayakumar. Hero heroine should get married, and first night room will be shown. Saroja will say ‘Ayyo chee avanga paakaraanga’. Raja will laugh and close the door. ‘The End’

Ada pongayya!

Prakashraj is a college professor. Nambiar is his dad. Ambika is his wife. Prakashraj and Nambiar are having breakfast
(Calling bell rings)
Sneha enters.
Sneha: Excuse me. Inga Ravi appadinu oruthar
Ambika: Yaar ma?
Sneha: Illai. Naan Sindhi Model School student. 12th padikkaren. Ravi sir Maths nalla solli kodupaar nu kaeLvi pattirukken. Enakku kathu tharuvaara?
Ambika: Illai ma. Avan pasangaLukku dhaan kathu tharuvaan. poNNungaLukku kathu thara maatan
Sneha: avar andha maadhiriya?

Prakashraj: Ennama solla vare?
Sneha: Illai. Ivarukku poNNungana vekkama?
Prakashraj: Vekkama. ha ha. En paiyanukka? Hmmm
Saying this he removes his spectacles, and wipes it.
(For dummies: So what does it mean? There is some flashback. Sadha is there in the movie no?)
Sneha comes out of the house, and she meets Madan Pop
Madan Pop: kek kek kek. Ennama? No sollitaangaLa? kek kek kek.
Sneha: Yaen ga. Enakku kaNakku kathu kodukka dhaane sonnen. kaNakku podavaa sonnen
Madan Pop: kek kek kek. Nee oNNu paNNuma. indha edhir veedu ennodadhu dhaan. Maadi la oru room irukku. Ingaye thangi padi. Unga appa en friend dhaane. Exam varaikkum inga irukkatum un poNNu appadinu solren
(Sneha stays in that house. Gets up early in the morning and puts kolam before Jayam Ravi leaves. She writes a differential calculus equation as kolam. She commits a small mistake, doesnt realise that and goes inside. When Ravi sees the equation, he finds the mistake and with help of bike and bike tyre corrects the same. Sneha looks from first floor window, and then comes running down. She thanks Ravi, but he goes away. Ambika is watching all this.
Ambika: Avana thappa nenaikaadhe maa
Sneha: Illainga. En mela avarukku appadi enna veRuppu?
Ambika: Inga paaru maa. Naama kodi la evLo thuNi kaaya podarom. Ella thuNiyum udane vaa kaanjidudhu? sila thuNi seekram kaayudhu. Sila thuNi kaaya neram aagum. Andha madhiri dhaan. Sila pera paartha udane chattunu pudichidum. Sila pera pudikka neram aagum.
Nambiar: Nambikkai dhaan ma vaazhkai. Night thoonga pogum boadhu kaalaila ezhundhu enna pannuvom nu yosichite paduppom. Aana pagal la muzhichitu irukkum bodhu night thoongacha enna pannuvom nu yosikka maatom. Adhe madhiri life la kashtama irukkacha eppo nalla kaalam varum nu yosikanum. Nalla irukkacha, kashtam eppo varum nu yosikka koodadhu
Sneha: Periyavanga solreeenga. seri
(Nambiar is impressed with Sneha and shares the same with Ambika)

Madan Pop and Ravi meet.
Madan Pop: Yaen pa Ravi. Naanum unnai romba naaLa kaekkanumnu nenachen
Ravi: Enna sir? ungaLukku maths la edavadha doubt aa?
Madan Pop: kek kek kek. naan padikkara vayasa thaaNdi romba varusham aachu pa. kek kek kek. Nee yaen poNNuNgaLa kaNdaa veLagi pore?
Ravi: Adhu oru periya kadhai saar
Madan Pop: Sollu paa. Interval varaikkum padam nagaranum illa?
Flash Back.
Ravi is a Rajni fan. He is in class XII. Sadha is his classmate. Sadha is the topper. She hardly talks to guys, and is very studious. Ravi is very playful, makes fun of girls but by Tamil Cinema logic, studies well too! Just before the final exams, all the students assemble for a special class. Sadha is climbing the stairs, with Ravi behind her. Ravi keeps singing ‘maathadu maathadu maLLige’. Sadha turns back at him, and she looks startled. She starts crying. Ravi is surprised, but since he knows Sadha doesn’t talk to guys he leaves her alone. Later he gets busy in his studies and exam. He comes state first. But Sadha never ever appeared for the exam. And no one knew what happened to her. So, Ravi and his friends go in search of her.

At Sadha’s house, her mother Rekha opens the door.
Rekha: Enga vandhe?
Ravi: Illainga. Sadha yaen exam ku varalai. enna aachu nu kaekkalaamnu vandhen
Rekha: paNradha paNNitu akkarai irukkara madhiri nadikkariya?
Ravi: Ayyo naan enna pannen?
Rekha: Inge paar.
(Sadha’s photo is on the wall)
INTERVAL
Ravi: Ayyo Sadhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Rekha: Sadha sethutaa
Ravi: Eppadi?
Rekha: Nee avaLa paathu maathadu maathadu maLLige nu paadine illai. Adhula ava disturb aagita. Enna madhiri oru sodhava oruthan eve tease pannitaane appadinu avaLukku shock. Andha shock la heart attack vandhu en poNNu sethutaa
(Rekha cries)
Ravi: ayyo kadavuLe. Arunachalam padam release aana time ma adhu. Adhula thalaivar, maathadu maathadu maLLige nu paaduvaar. Naan adha paadinen ma. Sadha thalaila vacha malligai poova paathu naan paadalai. KadavuLe!!
*End of Flashback
Madan Pop: Kaekkave romba kashtama irukku paa. Adhukaaga nee ella poNNunga koodavum pesaradha niRuthitiya?
Ravi: Adhu mattumilla sir. Enakku ennikume Sadha mela oru eerpu irundadhu. Adhu kaadhalavum maaRidichu. Ennaala avaLa maRakka mudiyaadhu sir
(Nambiar enters along with Sneha)
Nambiar: Nee pesaradha naan kaettundu dhaan pa irundhen.
Sneha: Aaamanga. Naanum kaettundu irundhen. NeengaLa endh poNNu kittayum pesa vendaam. Aaana naane ungaLai thedi varen. Pesaradhu thappilaye
Nambiar: Inga paaru pa Ravi. Nee 2 wheeler la ponaalum seri, 4 wheeler ponaalum seri signal red la irundha vaNdiya neutral kku koNdu vandhu niRuthi dhaan aaganum. Matha kashtanga 4 wheeler madhiri. Endha gear la irundhaalum neutral la vandhudalaam. Aaana poNNunga vishayam 2 wheeler madhiri. Step by step aa dhaan neutral kku varanum. Ippo Sneha voda pesaradhu first step. soLren keLupaa
After this there are many scenes in which Sneha tries to impress Ravi
(For dummies. There will be scenes like Ravi’s bike tyre going flat, and Sneha brings a mechanic on her scooty, or Ravi struggling for change at Spencers parking lot, Sneha helping him etc)
Climax:
Sneha enter Ravi’s home. Everyone is there. Ravi comes down from his room, and is surprised to see everyone
Sneha: ungaLukku thanks solla dhaan vandhen
Ravi: Enakku edhukku thanks?
Sneha: Illai. Neenga 12th standard la adicha bit use panni naanum state first vandhutten
Ravi: En bit unakku eppadi kedachudhu?
(Saying this he looks around. Nambiar tries to run away)
Ravi: Hmmm. Seri
Ambika: Inga paaru pa, unakko kalyanam vayasu aachu. Indha poNNoda appa amma kkum unaii pidichu irukku. Enakkum indha poNNa pidichu irukku. Nee yaen ivaLai kalyanam pannika koodadhu? Naan Sneha kitta kooda idha kaekkalai.
Sneha: Modhal la avara keLunga maa
Ravi: Enna idhu. Ippo dhaan indha poNNu 12th padichu mudicha. ivaLoda kalyanama?
Sneha: Ennai paatha ungaLukku endha angle la 12th padikkara poNNu madhiri irukku. Naan 5 varusham munnadiye 12th mudichu irukkanum. Ovvoru varushamum maths la fail aagiduven. Unga bit aala dhaan naan pass pannen.
Prakashraj: Seri sollu paa
Nambiar: Enakaagavadhu seri sollu paa. Illati innoru senti dialogue solla veNdi irukkum
Ravi: Hmmm
Madan Pop: Kek kek kek. Hero va irundhundu nee innum senti punch dialogue sollalai na padatha eppadi pa mudikaradhu. Ore oru dialogue sollu. Padatha mudichidalaam. Kek kek kek
Ravi: Ovvoru mudivula dhaan innoru aarambam irukku appadinu periyavanga solvaanga. Aaana indha vishayathula, Sadha voda mudivula dhaan en kaadhale thodangichu. thaavi vara nadhiyai thadukka aNai podalaam. aavi vara kaadhala thadukka endha aNai poda mudiyum? ennoda manasu appadingara kadhava thiRakka saaviya irundha aavikku drogam senja paaviya irukaradha vida en thalaya seevi erinjidunga. naanum aaviyave maaRidaren.
Saying this he cries and goes away.

With a title ‘aaviku kaathirukkum indha appaviyin kaadhal vaazhga’. La la la

If you are a type of person who gets scared at horror movies, then this movie is a must watch for you. You will start laughing at ghosts in future. Asingapaduthitaanga

I really pity the movie makers. They have to follow the rules and regulations set by moral police, and various other people from the society. What do they do? They make movies like Muni, as Ghosts don’t protest, or destroy the movie posters etc. I wish they do

Fine. What is Muni about? I won’t go much into story. Solradhukku yedavadhu irundha dhaane? And the review will be relatively short. Idhu enna captain padama enna? Avar size kku review ezhudha?

*Its a typical ghost movie. But in this movie, the ghost is a good at heart ghost. Rajkiran has acted naturally as the ghost. Very realistic, I would say! He has died(Can I say lived for Pei?) that character!Pei madhiriye irukaar baa

*In this movie, even the ghost has a flashback. Rajkiran explains, why he became a payee to the priest Nasser(Enna aachu Nasser ungalukku?) and Lawrence. Lawrence is touched(emotionally, you silly) by the story of Rajkiran and asks him to get into his soul. Dei. Idhenna bike aa? Erikoanga. T.Nagar la drop panren solra maadhiri, get inside solre?

*Rajkiran is a customizable ghost. Lawrence decides when the ghost must get in, and when it should leave. For instance, when he wants to spend quality time with Vethika(Adhu ennaya Vethika?), Pei acts very nice and leaves them alone. And when Lawrence wants to hit the bad guys, Pei gets in. This is what I meant in the first paragraph!

*One girl is in love with some guy. To stop her parents from looking for someone else, she acts as if she is under the influence of ghost

*Vinu chakravarthy, Kovai Sarala, Kaadhal villain etc are also there in the movie

*I have gone mad. Review is over

The movie starts with Captain receiving a special award for his services to mankind. Namma Captain kitta treatment eduthuka amerikaala irundhu michael jackson vandhaaga, Jappaaan la irundhu Jackie Chan vandhaaga, yaen namma pakkathu country Pakistan la irundhu gunda Inzamam ul Haq madhiri oruthar vandhaaga. Idhellathayum vittutu keragam, Captain, GH la maatikitaaru. That fat guy not only resembles Inzy in his appearance, but also in speech. Like man of match ceremony, he started with insha alla and thanked many people before thanking captain for saving his daughters life. At that time they show people from different countries, sitting in the audience with their children, cheering Captain. But they don’t mention how Captain saved their lives. Maybe, his photo was used by all the parents to mention ‘Ozhunga saapdu illaati boochandi kitta pidichu koduthuduven’. Finally, this inzy guy mentions ‘DR Sabarivaasan should live for than 100 years’ and breaks down on the stage. Am not sure, if he cried thinking about people who watch Captains movies!

One thing about Captain Vijayakanth is, his movies are about removing bad elements from the society. It doesnt matter whether he is police, CID, doctor, newspaper boy, Eswari Engineering college student, Sindhi Model school teacher. He will remove the bad elements from the society. And in this movie, he has tried some new techniques to woo the brahmin audience. Before hitting the villain, captain counts using his fingers like the ‘Gayatri mantra’ sequence of Sandhyavandhanam. And then one knockout punch. Thank god the villains didn’t do abivadhaye to Captain, after the fight!!

As always with captain movies, there is some new heroine. And there is Malavika too. Malavika enters the hospital, and collides with captain and falls on a wheelchair. Industry sources say that, when this scene was taken Malavika landed up in a stretcher. Then, they used a body triple to take it. Then comes the villain. You have heard of the terms ‘Maanga madayan’ or ‘Thengai Madayan’? Villains intro scene is hilarious. He would be sitting in the temple. And the priest would be breaking the coconut on his head! Thengai madayan.

Captain treats the heroines friends daughter for heart problem. He asks the kid ‘Neil Armstrong, nilaa(Not the SJ Surya one) la kaal vakkacha enna sonnaar theriyumaa maa?’. Theriyum doctor. One small step for man, giant leap for mankind. Captain has happy tears in his eyes. And walks away. I was seriously puzzled, why this dialogue was a part of the movie. Maybe, the dilaogue writer wanted to tell the audience that captain’s steps are like leaps? Hmmm.

Captain uses Maruti Swift in this movie. Guess, this is a good proof of how strudy Swift is. This test is any day better than what you read from autocar or overdrive or motorsport. And to make things interesting, Captain stands in the way of heroine nandini getting driving license. Oh, that reminds me. Once when captain meets the heroine in the temple, he makes fun of the heroine saying ‘Nandini’ ‘Nandhi nee’. And how romance forms between the two? They both drink tea. And heroines imagines herself to be captains pondatee and dances.

Just like I successfully decoded TR’s dance sequences, I managed to do for captain too.
1. Walk from left to right, while heroine and group dancers are dancing in the background
2. Assume, you have stepped on something you shouldn’t step on. Shake your leg to remove the dirt. That time, step on it again, using the other leg. Now shake this leg
3. Walk from right to left
4. A new step. Do check out the Malavika, Captain song. I will try to get the youtube link, If I find it. One of the best duets of captain. He has added one innovative step, where in captain stands on his toe every 2 seconds, while raising his hands, just like you raise when you apply deodorant
5.Repeat step 4, with right and left hand instead of left and right hand
6. Keep walking
In fact you can use the same sequence for any song, by just rearranging the order. And it will be any song, even if it is ‘Baba blacksheep have you any wool?’

And one of the best ever climaxes of a Captain movie. Captain is injured. Villain group searches for captain in all city hospitals. But they cant find him. Why? Captain is getting treated at the veterinary hospital. No, am not joking. Seriously captain gets treated at that hospital. And he takes revenge after recovering. Phew!

Sabari- The sharp knife, really. Watch it at your own risk!

And in case you watched it, let me know how it is. I don’t want to miss this comedy movie!