Valentine Day Forward

It is that time of the year, where you get to receive loads of emails with messages on why you should love and all sorts of stuff. Where do such emails originate? What goes behind the scenes? Machi TV caught up with Mr Matter Mahadevan, who is an expert in sending such mails. Matter teaches us how to go about it.

Step 1: Background

Background is important not only for people who apply for bank loans, but also for people who send Valentine cards. Pink is the most preferable color. Choose a pink background. Not a plain pink, but something which is like this. http://www.hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/back-htm/back80.htm

Step 2: Message Header

Only fools write precisely when it comes to forward mails. So start with something that kind of misleads the reader.

‘It is the day, when I wish to tell you I am not gay!’
Mark it in bold and change the color to dark blue or so, and increase the font size. And leave lots of gap before and after the message. The reader must scroll down.

Step 3: Animals

The message is supposed to be cute. How to make a message cute? Add pictures of babies or dogs/cats etc. Imagine you holding a rose like this? The recipient will go mad seeing your picture. So it is better to copy paste photo of an animal.

E.g.

Photobucket

Source: http://www.vistawallpapers.com/image.php?v=./data/media/171/Puppy_Love.jpg

Step 4: Meaningless Message

Add first part of your message. It must have at least five to six lines of something related to love. Not necessary that it must be meaningful.

I want to be your valentine
But all your server did was quarantine
To paint the town red, I went to buy turpentine
But the queue for you is serpentine
Oh my dear Valentine

Mark the lines in bold font, and make it italic

Step 5: Animal Photo

Add some more photos of animals. Last time it was a puppy. This time try some other animal (No crocodiles please.)

Photobucket

Source : http://www.webweaver.nu/clipart/img/holidays/valentines/panda-heart.gif

Step 6: Meaningless Message

Next part of your meaningless message

My heart beats for you
But do you know, your dad beat me because of you?

Step 7: Kids picture

Photobucket

Source: http://www.absolutestockphoto.com/images/userpics/10007/thumb_Absolute_7_7341.jpg

Step 8: Meaningless Message

I wait in front of your apartment
Whiling away my time by reading a book on time management
There are no nails left to bite
Or mails to write
Why is my trouser so tight?
Is it because of my ever expanding waist?
Oh dear I want to hold you tight
To give your sister a fright

Step 9: End with another photo.

You must end this with a kiss. Well, your TFT monitor or Notebook monitor might not like you kissing it. Instead use this

Photobucket

Source: http://www.newyorkstatealpacas.com/images/aspenwood4.jpg

P.S. If you directly forward the mail, no one will read it. So forward it once to your account so that your mail subject looks like Fwd: etc etc. Then forward it to your friends. Only then the reputation of the mail will increase.

30 thoughts on “Valentine Day Forward

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