Introspection

Blogging has been a good friend and companion for me, right from November 2004. Initially, I hardly had any visitors. But things changed, and before I could realize I had many readers. It was good. It was fun. Wait a minute. Its still good. But there are somethings which come along with a blog, that I found it very tough to grasp.

Some people send a personal mail, apart from dropping in their comments. Its nice and makes you feel good. But at same time, my blog readers know more about me than what I know about them. Like for instance, one girl (Ok, you can remove that smug expression from your face) was chatting with me. And suddenly she started shouting ‘Hey. Quick. Watch Sun TV. Your favorite Kanika is there on TV’. Nice. But how did she know I liked Kanika? Before long, I realized I had blogged about Kanika. Hmmm. In this case its ok, but sometimes people started talking more about me and my blogs rather than any general topic.

I find it uncomfortable to interact with someone who knows more about me, than what I know about them. Isn’t it all because of me blogging extensively about my interests and stuff? So whats the point feeling uncomfortable? Thats when it dawned on me that I can’t blog what I like, and I need to be aware of the readership. When that happens, the whole fun of blogging reduces drastically. Not that I don’t enjoy writing as before, but the questions that keep popping in my head like ‘Can I post this? Will I be branded a psycho? Will I set a wrong example? What will people think?’.

In fact, I had written once that Afzal should be hanged. One commenter went overboard and said ‘Though I hate to admit, you have a huge readership. You can’t afford to be judgemental’. What nonsense? I just reiterated what the supreme court said! Isnt my blog, the place where I write what I feel? I know I can brush off what people comment and keep posting. But to continue talking about it is not worth it.

And then comes the He-She kind of posts. Can’t a person have a fertile imagination? Why is that any post I make on relationship, is being branded as a personal experience? Cant I ask about house loan without buying a house? Not many people know how much time I spend in writing a He-She or relationship post. I observe many things and slowly form a post. In fact that ‘Hello Miss’ He-She took me 6 months to complete. And I came up with 8 drafts before posting the final version. I wouldn’t mind if people come and say ‘Its boring. Not good’ or a plain ‘It is bad’. But to brush away my effort with a ‘Is this your real life experience?’ just puts me off. Fine. I agree that it is a kind of back handed compliment. But for how long? Thats what killed my interest in continuing with the He-She series. Whats the point spending so much time when people are going to pass it on as a real life experience? Instead I better write it and send it to whom I choose. No tension 🙂 He-She series was and still is the one, that brought me lot of visitors. And even today if I start it, am sure many of you will enjoy it. But if I had taken a decision to stop such a popular thing, think how much irritated and upset I would have been?

Anyways. Guess I will break from these self imposed restrictions and blog more freely, hopefully!

49 thoughts on “Introspection

  1. I guess one’s bound to learn new lessons every day. 🙂 It’s good to know, however, that you *want* to break out of the ‘self-imposed restrictions’ , it’s important to want to achieve something/get somewhere, as opposed to saying, i should go to the gym everyday, and not even thala vechu paduthufy in that direction.

  2. Brush aside what ever the world says. Keep blogging. For those people I have only one word – no two words.

    போட/போடி வெண்ணை !

  3. Hi Prabhu,
    I have been a silent reader of your blog. After reading this article I decided to write a comment. From my guess you are experiencing something similar to what a celebrity experiences. Posting your opinions and imaginations and being nailed by comments. Blog is where one expresses oneself. Take it cool man! Comments are only comments. Infact I read your blog not only for your write ups but also for the comments. You have some enthusiastic readers. Carry on the good work.

  4. I sighed a breath of relief at the end of the post. I thought you were going to close shop!! (என் கவலை எனக்கு!!)
    பொது வாழ்க்கையில் இதெல்லாம் சகஜம்!
    FYI, its going to be all the more tough after getting married because any thing you do will be made into a joke with “wifey” remarks! Need to have thick skin.

  5. Machi,
    This is something I read in a bumper sticker: “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it that often”.It applies perfectly to your situation. Keep doing your thing!
    Vishnu

  6. Hmmm…if you started writing to vent out what you felt, such comments shouldn’t bother you much, should they. Again, I may be wrong here. I have not read your entire work as yet. But from what I read, that you started blogging so early, you should have become a seasoned blogger by now. People don’t always mean to ask you the general questions. Its just that some people don’t have the knack of asking the right ones..There, thats my two cents worth on this..

  7. //Guess I will break from these self imposed restrictions and blog more freely, hopefully!//

    😀

    ellaarum comment panrathu… ok na accept pannikongha… illathi dont bother… athu rombe yosicha… kasthama than irukkum…

    ungha blog padichu evlo per santhosha padarangha… ethanai per morning le suprapatham ketkira mathiri ungha blog padikaranghalo…

  8. There is a difference between personal diary and personal blog. It would be hypocritical to restrain anything in personal diary. But what is the intention of blog? If you just wanted to express yourself you would have written a diary – the age-old tradition. But when you decided to blog you were setting shop to sell your ideas. So this is what happens. I think you need to do some introspection even more seriously and figure out what you want to achieve. All of us readers can help you do that!

  9. With popularity, comes a price to pay ! Well, the same as most others said above- just write and don’t worry about the comments ! Most of them hardly read the full post, they grab a few words here and there and throw some rubbish at you!

  10. அரசியல்ல இதெல்லாம் சாதாரணம் பிரபு.. 🙂

  11. freeya vudunga prabhu.

    some dude suggested I send my kids to the military to get killed in Iraq because I took up US citizenship. velai vetti illama flame pannaraththukku oru kootame kilambi irukku!

    you are who you are. your thoughts are your thoughts. your writings can change your reader base but your reader base need not change your thoughts.

    I may sound like a hypocrite here because after reading those flame emails, I did stop writing about anything other than my kids and their pranks for a few weeks, just to save myself the pain, but I just could not restrict myself long enough!

    you will realize the futility in tying yourself up and break free.

    best wishes.

    🙂

  12. Yeah, its your blog, and you can write whatever you wish. About Kanika, Priyamani, Ferrari or anything. And chatting with any friend of your choice is also your sole right.

    Adhe maadhiri, a blog reader also has his/her right. Unga kooda ivlo pesittu, Kanikaavo illa Priyamaniyo tvla vandhaa adha pathi unga kitta sollaama irukuradhu evloooo periya thappu? Readersummm konjam naturalaa irukka vidungappaa!!

    Ellaam therinchum theriyaadha maadhiri kaatika naanga enna Shilpa Shettyaa?

  13. hey when u become a lil popular such kinda things r very common… try to cme over it and blog 😀 we enjoy what u write 😀

  14. just blog for yourself
    thats what i would say…

    i can say from personal experience that among what i write, and would like to pass off as poetry, a lot of them are from personal experiences

    there is a certain tone to something that comes from personal experience….
    and since you put in a lot of effort to come up with your he-shes, they sound so natural and nice that people may beleive that they were indeed you personal experience

    i think that speaks volumes about ur skill
    🙂

    yes, it can be irritating…but pls dont let that stop you

    go ahead and please yourself, as it is your blog, your space….and thats what it is and will always be
    🙂

    and let me add..i too began reading ur blog through the he-she post i got as a mail
    🙂

  15. I think this is a total waste reason for not blogging He/She etc..and its quite apparent that you enjoy writing it..So do restart the series…. and enuf of this vetti bandha of not writing He-She;) just kidding…

  16. common! agree with what you say to a great extent. but i really enjoy your He-She posts. i have told you before also, your imaginations are brilliant. So dont let your talent stagnate. I enjoy reading your blogs. Try to overlook some random stuff and continue your work. Readers must be mature enough to digest certain things. Ofcourse, feel responsible for what you write since lot of people read your blog. Just look at the number of commentators that you have! feel good and relax. Wish you luck.

  17. Hi Prabhu – Don’t quite understand what the fuss is all abt! If you don’t want ppl to know abt u, y write n publish at all?! just write n keep it to urself and ur frends!
    If ppl ask u if it was a real incident – its bcoz the writing is so realistic! Puzzled y someone shd get irritated with sucha Q instead of taking it as a compliment – sour grapes?! 😉
    As for writing what u feel – guess thats the price u goto pay when u have sucha wide readership!
    This maybe ur blog, but its for everyone to read and comment – good/bad or nasty!!!!!!

  18. 🙂 Good Introspection.
    3 things,
    1.yes, you do reveal a lot about your personal life. A total stranger can easily trace your whereabouts from your blog. (I have done that :-))But then again, its your choice. A personal diary is always an interesting read, however boring the person may be in reality.
    2.If you use your blog to publish your views on public issues, on a fairly public forum, you become part of the media. Blogs are nowadays considered a wing of the media. And all the ethics that apply to media would apply to a blog also. You should be prepared to receive the flak. And not be disturbed.
    3.As for the He-She series. Its better that you stopped it.. Indians around the world would increase their productivity ! 🙂 But seriously, I consider it your speciality. The trademark prabhu. If people say that its your personal experience, just give a smug smile and continue fooling them with your creativity… NN series is also good.. especially the character names.. I think it could come only in two ways. One with a lot of thinking, and two from a mind that has a razor sharp wit. Humour, i think, is your forte. Ultimately you write for yourself. The audience will judge you, not necessary that you should write for them.

  19. Schmetterling,
    What does ‘Schmetterling’ mean? 😉 Thanks for the comment 🙂

    Shyam,
    yes!

    Priya.V,
    Even I enjoy the comments of many of my readers 🙂 Thank you!

    Unmai,
    True 🙂 Its better to reatc like you said.

    Boo,
    No no. I wont stop so easily 😀 BTW, google is showing ads of ‘Retirement Living’ for this post. Retire aaga poravanga dhaan introspect pannuvaangaLa?And what you say must be true. So I better get thick skinned from now on 😉

  20. Curses,
    Celebrity aa?(Read in vadivelu tone) 😛

    Adiya,
    Thank you 🙂

    Vishnu,
    Thank you 🙂

    Neethi,
    Hmmm! Makes sense 🙂

    Selvi,
    Suprabatham oda ellam compare paNNa koodadhu. Thappu 🙂 Thanks for the comment 😉

    Giri,
    True! Makes sense 🙂

  21. Ramya,
    I dont care about the abusive comments 🙂

    ராசா,
    சரியா சொன்னீங்க 🙂

    visithra,
    Hey! Am not referring to friends like you pulling my leg 😛

    Sundar Narayanan,
    Compared to your situation, this is nothing 🙂 Thanks for the comment, sir 🙂

    Bindu,
    Devils advocate eh? 😉

  22. geetha,
    Thank you!

    Lavanya,
    😛

    monu,
    Thank you 🙂

    Prabha,
    Restart aa? Hmmm. 🙂

    ramya,
    Thank you 🙂

    Aarthi,
    One time can be a compliment. But the same comment for every post is not 😉

    Sshhhhh,
    First time we are agreeing on something? 😉 Thanks for the comment 🙂

  23. prabhu

    indha blogs vazhiyavum comments vazhiyavum ethanai good friendships kidaichu irukku ungalukku. evlo nalla quality time spend panneenga in the past few years? evlo knowledge enhancement kidaichudhu ungalukku? adhellam ninaichu sandhosha padunga…there are some of us who have so much to say but dont even go near comments or let alone start a blog (for various reasons). ungalukku karpanai thiran irukku, talent irukku…keep it up!! again life is a full circle, ask your fellow bloggers how many of them felt exactly the same, been pushed to closing the blog down bcos of comments and personal attacks and what not. at the end of the day its all about choice, your choice to write,read,ignore what you like/don’t like. you have talent you know it, we all appreciate it, enjoy it. If anyone has the ability to make another person laugh (or just smile) with the houmor writing then they deserve a pat on the back and you simply must continue to do that. there are more good people in this world than bad ones.hehe….porum niruthikaren.

  24. @prabhu:

    We have had many first times.. for agreeing.. just that we forget them 🙂 Hope to have more.. Keep writing..

  25. Once we have put things in public, its entitled to criticism. dont we criticise the government moves without even knowing the exact intention(Though both don’t have the same weightage, just take that as a crude example).when they say some of your imaginary postings as your real time experiences, just take it as a cerdit. writer sujatha when asked about his SRIRANGATHU DEVATHAIGAL series as his own story, he replied saying ” mixing the right propotion of imagination and truth determines the success of any writing. if you people believe that all i wrote are real time experience of mine, then Sri. Dev. is a success story, am happy about it.”. same as that, if they feel whatever u write is your own story, you can take their comments as your success. don’t we feel angry on raghuvaran when we see PURIYADHA PUDHIR, that’s his success, rite?. there are times when we feel dejected, thats accepted, but we have to take things in its stride. always i tell myself “HONEST EFFORTS MAY BE A FAILURE MANY A TIMES, ITS NOT A DEFEAT.HONESTY WILL BE WEIGHED ONLY BY THE INDIVIDUAL, NOT ANY OUTSIDER. thats the bitter truth we have to accept.if people try to get into your personal things, thats an attitude problem indians have. we are ready to share our family details to our co-passenger but when asked which party we support for the elections, there will be a deep mum. its the reverse in western countries which i feel should follow. as of now, we all have to live with it. how we handle the situation can vary.

    i have been dropping into your blog for the past 10 months or so. it has been a mix of good, bad and ugly. overall , i would conclude saying it has been a good effort from you. your humour sense is really good. keep it up and all the best [ 🙂 ]

  26. Whoaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!! I dont read ur blog for 2 days , and i get to see this. Chillax!!! U shouldnt get disturbed or perturbed by such things. Be urself..Blog whatever u feel like…Que sera sera 🙂

  27. adaDaa..
    even i had made a comment on you linking He-She 😀
    didnt think you will feel this much..!

    guess what? people might like “He-She” more than you..it happens..!! 😀

  28. hey one question – what if ppl connect the He She to your real life … you know thats actually a credit that ppl feel some story is close or infact feels so real. They believe that this could happen to you…and to my understanding this is a credit …You know there are 100 of directors who are not able to create that feel in the same scenario in their movies … Be happy for that man !!

    And obviously ppl who had read your he she posts will know that not everything can happen to the same person-coz of conflicting mentalities … You know your She is not always the same person !! – quite understandable .. So Just be the way you are – coz if you are not the same then that might reflect in the He’s mentality 😛 !!

  29. (sivaji tone-il padikkavum)
    ulagam aayiram sollatume
    unakku neethaan needhipadhi
    manidhan yedhaiyo pesattume
    manasa paathukka nallapadi- un
    manasa paathukka ullapadi

    😀

  30. Romba deep aa yosichirukkenga 🙂 Sire, am not going to say anything different from what the others have already said …My only point is even if you talk general topics, it would bring in your perception and people would still figure out your thought process and your likes and dislikes and sometimes even the type of person you are! But isn’t that why you blog – to be heard by the unreachable masses?! 😛

    That being said, I sincerely hope you don’t let our comments bother you and continue blogging! 🙂

  31. your blog has been quite decent, not controversial (to a great extent), and entertaining. continue the good work – as Krishna said ‘don’t look back – just do it’

  32. I have always wondered this… as humans why are we always told censor our thoughts and words for other people always… esp in our society… Veetule appa, aama. Paati, thatha nu…. And maybe later with the rest of the extended family… and sometimes even with friends…

    I started blogging as a vent to out to those thoughts that I can think but can’t speak out in the open… And here I don’t care what they say here… It’s my space and my thoughts…

    Be a rebel… Speak ur mind…

  33. hey…
    you must be happy to get these comments. Thats a lot.
    I can relate myself into this incident. I am not sure if you are aware of “DOK” yahoo group – Dhinam Oru Kavithai..its a very nice group. you get a kavithai every day and they are real nice ones. the moderator had great interest in these literary works. Finally he got fed up one day and wrote a letter and stopped the posts. He wrote in that letter “what is the use of writing if no one pass a comment on that.either good/bad”.
    But in your case, you are getting lot of responses.

    My day is not complete without reading your posts. Keep going.

  34. its me,
    Thank you!

    Boo,
    Oh appadiya? Am wondering how the song ‘Oh butterfly’ will sound in German 😀

    sarav,
    Thank you 🙂

    Shhhh,
    🙂

    Madrasfella,
    Engayo poiteenga!

    Nandu,
    🙂

    Arun,
    😛

    sreekrishnan,
    Aaga motham naan mental aagama irundha seri 🙂

    Revathi,
    Adede 😀

    Sundaresan,
    Sure 🙂

    Rude,Snobbish girl,
    Sure. Very soon 😉

    Anonymous,
    Thank you 🙂

    Ram,
    Thank you, sir 🙂

    Curious/Nandhu,
    Loose control 😀

    Trinity Teal,
    Thank you 🙂

    Vaasag,
    Thank you. I have read the ‘Dhinamum oru kavidhai’. It was nice 🙂

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  36. Hi, I just came across u r blog today. To be frank I havent all these days browsed any blogs. Urs was very interesting Prabhu and I would continue to read and enjoy what u write. Sense of humour is the most important thing for a human being. That is what makes the world a better place to live in. Keep it up. Will be a regular reader of urs.

  37. Hey Prabhu,

    I am one the recent fans of your blog site…

    I do understand that as a blogger your fans get to know more abt you, than you abt them….. but that’s part of celebrity dom :)….. now that u have started and established yrself…. You can continue what you wanted to do… If you express your personal opinions like “Hang Afzal Guru” for example, you have every right to do so….The reader need not agree with all your views, but that does not in any way morally or otherwise curtail you from expressing what you feel..

    U need not think abt what Aam janata would feel…[When even “netas” don’t care abt aam janta, a special janta like you need not care about aam janta] 🙂

    Infact writing is more about sharing your IMAGINATION with others. Not everyone can do it…WHY??? Coz’:

    1. No imagination…..[yes, not all people have the ability to imagine]
    2. No expression..[yes, not all people can express out their feelings]
    3. No language…… [Even if people want to express, without proper lang. no one is going to understand what they are saying, so need to have a flair for lang.]
    4. No guts..[How many of them have the courage to share their feeling with others???…most people always think “what will others think?” and play it safe.]
    5. No time…..[Even if other things are there, the person needs to find time to Express/ share/ write]

    So Prabhu, Please continue writing about whatever you feel like…. If people think its your real exp. Its just a Compliment that it is SO realistic and reflects on your imagination and acute observation……Feel Free its Your Blog……Let people come out with their views and that need not Stop you from your writing flow……

    Sorry, naanum ezhidhina ezhidhinde iruppen……So after this Gyaaaaaaaan, hope you Got my Point 😉

  38. Hey Prabhu,

    Your He-She was tooo good. I am become such a fan of ur blog tat i have bookmarked it !!

    He-She was sounding realistic.Do Continue blogging on that topic too!!

    Good Job!! Go Ahead!!

    One thought We live our life for ourselves dont try to curb your feelings/thoughts fearing what others say. I feel humour comes naturally to you.Why stop it?

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