Blogging has been a good friend and companion for me, right from November 2004. Initially, I hardly had any visitors. But things changed, and before I could realize I had many readers. It was good. It was fun. Wait a minute. Its still good. But there are somethings which come along with a blog, that I found it very tough to grasp.
Some people send a personal mail, apart from dropping in their comments. Its nice and makes you feel good. But at same time, my blog readers know more about me than what I know about them. Like for instance, one girl (Ok, you can remove that smug expression from your face) was chatting with me. And suddenly she started shouting ‘Hey. Quick. Watch Sun TV. Your favorite Kanika is there on TV’. Nice. But how did she know I liked Kanika? Before long, I realized I had blogged about Kanika. Hmmm. In this case its ok, but sometimes people started talking more about me and my blogs rather than any general topic.
I find it uncomfortable to interact with someone who knows more about me, than what I know about them. Isn’t it all because of me blogging extensively about my interests and stuff? So whats the point feeling uncomfortable? Thats when it dawned on me that I can’t blog what I like, and I need to be aware of the readership. When that happens, the whole fun of blogging reduces drastically. Not that I don’t enjoy writing as before, but the questions that keep popping in my head like ‘Can I post this? Will I be branded a psycho? Will I set a wrong example? What will people think?’.
In fact, I had written once that Afzal should be hanged. One commenter went overboard and said ‘Though I hate to admit, you have a huge readership. You can’t afford to be judgemental’. What nonsense? I just reiterated what the supreme court said! Isnt my blog, the place where I write what I feel? I know I can brush off what people comment and keep posting. But to continue talking about it is not worth it.
And then comes the He-She kind of posts. Can’t a person have a fertile imagination? Why is that any post I make on relationship, is being branded as a personal experience? Cant I ask about house loan without buying a house? Not many people know how much time I spend in writing a He-She or relationship post. I observe many things and slowly form a post. In fact that ‘Hello Miss’ He-She took me 6 months to complete. And I came up with 8 drafts before posting the final version. I wouldn’t mind if people come and say ‘Its boring. Not good’ or a plain ‘It is bad’. But to brush away my effort with a ‘Is this your real life experience?’ just puts me off. Fine. I agree that it is a kind of back handed compliment. But for how long? Thats what killed my interest in continuing with the He-She series. Whats the point spending so much time when people are going to pass it on as a real life experience? Instead I better write it and send it to whom I choose. No tension 🙂 He-She series was and still is the one, that brought me lot of visitors. And even today if I start it, am sure many of you will enjoy it. But if I had taken a decision to stop such a popular thing, think how much irritated and upset I would have been?
Anyways. Guess I will break from these self imposed restrictions and blog more freely, hopefully!