Last week after lunch, I was going towards the ATM for withdrawing some cash. At the door step, I was stopped by a representative. I got highly irritated. I was thinking that guy to be a credit card/personal loan/car loan/ home loan guy. I was about to scream at him, when he handed me this pamphlet. He literally begged me to read it. I went through the first few lines, and I could’nt stop myself reading the entire article.
I have taken the pain of typing , what was there in that pamphlet. Just check it out.
===========================================================================
Dear Customer,
These days many a bachelors face these problems.
1. He doesnt have a girl friend.
2. Even if he does, he is not able to manage with his expenses.
To overcome this UCMEICU Bank is coming up with a new scheme.
This scheme is mainly targetted at bachelors who are software engineers.
UCMEICU is launching a new portal called www.ucme-icu-dadmom-dontc.com for providing dating loans to people like those above mentioned. This portal is launched, keeping in mind the increase in number of bachelors in India, who are UCMEICU customers and software engineers as well.
UCMEICU Bank Date Loans:
UCMEICU Bank Date Loans offers you not only among the best dates, but also numerous other benefits like simplified processing, doorstep pick up of dates, assistance in identifying a suitable partner through our unique ‘Date Search’ facility and much more. All you need to do is let us know that you are interested, UCMEICU’S counselors will visit you and guide you through the entire process after understanding your needs! The process is as follows.
UCMEICU is a company, which believes in quality in everything it does. So, in order to get the dream girl a person should follow quality religiously in his life. To make things simpler for aspiring daters, a set of processes
called as “Dating Process” has been prepared.
In general the people who want to date fall into the following categories. Trainee Daters, Associate Daters and Daters. Everyone will be allotted a tormentor who will take care of their needs during the Dating Period.
Trainee daters are freshers with no experience, Associate Daters are people who are dating for a period of less than 3 months with a single person and Daters are people who are dating with same person for more than three
months. Persons who have switched the dating partners in the middle are called as flirters. Flirters are not eligible to try for any girl.
A person is allowed to carry forward existing dating partner and they will be considered as Associate Daters.
The processes for Trainees are as follows. The Trainees will be attending an orientation program for a period of three months. The Training program will contain sessions on “How to date with a JAVA girl?” ”Dating with
Microsoft Girl-Unleashed”, “Maya of Mainframe Madams”, “Loving a Linux Lady” etc. The Trainees should have great self-control. Associate daters are allowed to look at their partner, smile at them. Daters are allowed to wink at them, hold hands only while crossing the road.
Any dater is allowed to take their partner in their bikes, but a distance of at least 5 mm should be maintained in between them. An appraisal will take place at the end of every three months by the tormentor. The inputs
will be taken from the dating partner, but the jurisdiction of declaring a person as “Master Dater” depends on the tormentor.
Once a person becomes a “Master Dater” he can avail a dating loan of 25,000 Paise per day.
This in brief explains the processes. Every person who registers for this course, will be given a special UCMEICU Dating card, which will be accepted at around 5 million outlets all over the world.
You can subscribe to Mobile Dating, wherein UCMEICU will be sending regular SMS and keep you updated of our dates whereabouts.
For every rupee a person spends, he will get bonus points. These bonus points can be redeemed , when they are launching a new portal for married guys www.stay-awake-wife-shopping.com. UCMEICU certified Master-Daters will have their registration fee waived off.
Unbelievable isnt it. Register soon and avail of the early bird offer. If you have any doubts or queries please dont hesitate to mail at masterdater@ucmeicu.com or helpdesk@ucmeicu.com.
Thanks and Regards,
Dating Advisor,
UCMEICU Bank
===========================================================================
I was thinking about this as some sort of prank. I mentioned about this to my friend. Since his office was near to the main branch of the bank, he went over there last week. And it turned out to be true. He will be meeting
his date today. Lucky chap.
Moral of the story is, please do not throw away the leaflets, pamphlets you get, without reading. You might miss out something.
22 Responses to “Great Offers!”
on 18 Apr 2006 at 2:18 pm # Ravi
Prabhu Maama,
I see you are having tooooo much time on your hands, posting here, posting on chennai metblogs, posting on blore metblogs, commenting here, there and everywhere!
I guess I must talk to Mr. SB about this, eh?
;)))))Just kidding!
Ravi
on 18 Apr 2006 at 2:27 pm # Muthu
This must have come on the 1st of April… bit late!!
on 18 Apr 2006 at 2:58 pm # WA
Seriyaana vetti
on 18 Apr 2006 at 6:59 pm # Krithika
Double Master of Arts degreeku try pannaranga pola
on 18 Apr 2006 at 7:10 pm # rubic_cube
Same doubt as that of Ravi. Nijamma .. eppadi? I have been, like, so strung for time that I can barely manage to catch 5 hours of sleep!
on 18 Apr 2006 at 7:57 pm # Siva
Was the guy having a manja pai (yellow bag) under his ukle (ankle)? Was the guy wearing soda buddy spectacles? Was his forehead full of viboothi? He must be one of the thozhiladhibars!!
on 18 Apr 2006 at 7:58 pm # shek
enna thozhil idhu!ponnungaLa dating pannanum-naa vaaya ternadhu pesaNum.oru ponnu othu varalai-naa vera ponna thedi poganum.ippadi oru thozhil avasiyam thaanaa?
and ferro mathiri oru chic magnet-kku indha thozhil thevaiye illa!
on 18 Apr 2006 at 8:52 pm # tamizhan
Every IT job creates atleast 5 other jobs nu summaava solraanga
BTW, your search seems to be malfunctioning (am on Firefox on OSX)
on 18 Apr 2006 at 9:30 pm # priya
Decent aana “maama” velai..eh?!!!
on 18 Apr 2006 at 9:44 pm # Blog reader
Inspired by :
http://www.google.com/romance ?
on 19 Apr 2006 at 9:15 am # Aarthi
un karpanai kudurai kanna pinnanu rakka katti parakardhu pola erukku?! or is this for real? mmmmm…..illena un bijness plan-a edhu
on 19 Apr 2006 at 3:07 pm # Ravi
ROTFL reading WA’s comment! ;)))))
on 19 Apr 2006 at 4:55 pm # Prasanna
that was a funny one….remember reading in Deccan Chronicle on April 1st abt Arya to wed Nmaitha. My guess that it was to fool its viewers was correct. The second page conveyed Arya’s Fools’ Day greetings to DC viewers.
on 19 Apr 2006 at 6:08 pm # Karthigeyan
இவ்ளோ நேரம் வெட்டியா உட்கார்ந்து நீ பெரியதா டைப் அடிச்சிருக்கும்போதே அது வெத்து நீயுஸ்னு தெரியுது.
எந்த மடையனாவது ஒரு ‘Dating loan’ விஷயத்தை இவ்ளோ பெரிசா எழுதுவானா?
on 20 Apr 2006 at 2:04 pm # prabukarthik
“chic magnet” Ferro!
aaha evlo arputhamaana per!!
thanks to Sheks!
on 20 Apr 2006 at 2:24 pm # Deepa
Idhuku ferrari @ potu yeduvume reply pannalaiye… romba feel pandraru pola
on 21 Apr 2006 at 7:26 pm # Sundaresan
Ferro, soundey kaanom…indha loan eduthu ippo training-la irukkeengala?
on 21 Apr 2006 at 8:11 pm # Neha
enakku purila!!!
on 23 Apr 2006 at 4:39 pm # Shripad
Hi Ferrari,
The photo in the header of your blog looks like taken in a metro station in Paris. Is it true and what is the location then?
on 23 Apr 2006 at 11:41 pm # Darshan
so cool…im sending u my feeler now…better pay up….
on 24 Apr 2006 at 8:37 am # F e r r a r i
Ok!
I had written this piece some 3 years back, for a creative writing competition
Ravi,Gaj
Remember. You guys are married. I am single. I have lots of time you see
on 24 Apr 2006 at 8:42 am # F e r r a r i
Shripad,
I have nothing to do with it 
That photo came along with the template
Darshan,
Eh?