They never fails to amaze me. Not just them, the entire media has gone crazy over Salman Khan getting jailed. Worse, they are looking at 400 crore loss for cine industry, and celebrities getting targeted crap!

Fine! As always Machi TV, the futuristic TV comes up with some flash news

Headline: Bring the Tiger to court
A group of intellectual bloggers and journalists, have formed a movement ‘Bring Tiger to Court’. When asked they said ‘Salman killed only 10 deers in his entire life time. Whereas a tiger kills one deer per day. When that is the case, none of the people have arrested any tiger, or for that matter even a jackal. In what way animals are superior than Salman Khan?’. The group was seen agitating in front of Corbett wildlife sanctuary. But the moment they heard a tiger growl, they ran for safety!

Headline: Salman creates a furore
Due to the hot summer, Salman Khan felt very thirsty. He asked the jail superintendent for Ice. But some jail inmates overheard this as Aish. Immediately it raised a furore. Other prisoners started demanding for Mallika Sherawat, Kareena Kapoor etc. Mr Sharma a senior prisoner in the Jodhpur jail, serving a life term quipped ‘If Salman who is just a 5 year prisoner can ask for Aish, then being a life term prisoner I have all the rights to ask for Sharon Stone or Nicole Kidman’. Then Salman calmed everyone down by mentioning that he asked for ice and not Aish.

Headline: Salman Khan is a good human being.
Though there are many mosquitoes in the jail, he didn’t ask for good-night, all out or any other mosquito repellant. Instead, he asked for the odomos cream. When asked, Salman’s brother said ‘Right from childhood, Salman doesn’t like harming or injuring other living things. Let it be a mosquito or a dinosaur(?)’. Sad that he is in jail

Headline: Shahrukh to teach Salman on how to take bath
It seems Salman Khan, right from his childhood had the habit of taking bath in the bath tub. He didn’t know how to take bath under the well, or inside a bathroom with help of buckets and mug. Senior Magistrate rejected a special petition from Shahrukh the bathing expert, when he requested to visit the jail everyday for 1 hour to bathe Salman. But a friend in need is a friend in deed. Shahrukh Khan took bath under the well, with help of bucket, mug and rose petals. And the soaps were sponsored by Lux. This was shot on a mobile camera by Katrina Kaif, who promised to show the same to Salman. Not just that. Shahrukh has gifted Salman 35 lux soaps and 10 kgs of rose petals. With the help of this, Salman is learning to take bath without a bathtub

Headline: Salman sprains his ankle
Before the police arrested him, Salman wanted to cut his nails. And he even requested them for the same. Unfortunately they denied and locked him up. Being a cleanly person, Salman bit the nails on his hand. And he failed when he tried peeling off the nails on his toe. So, he tried to bite them too. Unfortunately he developed a sprain on his back. He was taken to another cell, where a masseur was held captive.