Prabhu n Ferrari

Our finance minister is under severe pressure from the left parties, the coming assembly elections etc etc. Looks like he has exhausted all areas of income, whereas the expenditure arena keeps on expanding. To help the finance minister, here are some more taxes and subsidies that will help the government, and also the citizens.

Datetax:
If you observe carefully, off late there is a gap between the engagement date and wedding date. There are some lucky couples who stay in the same city. Their life is like RB Chaudhary/Ram Gopal Verma movies. Low budget/Super hit. But in many cases, the guy is in one city whereas the girl in some other city. Like Shankar/Subhash Ghai movies. Big budget. This is unfair advantage to people staying in same city.
So the people staying in same city must pay a dating tax. This tax amount can be utilized by the government to provide subsidized season train tickets, reduced pricing for mobile charges etc for the big budget couples.

TanTax:
Travelling within India has become very popular. With the introduction of low cost airlines, people have started exploring lots of tourist locations. Some people utilize this opportunity to get themselves tanned Hence the government can levy a tan tax from the tourists. In addition there are some gundu(fat) uncles clad in tantex, showcasing their thoppai(tummy) and terrorizing the other tourists in swimming pools/beaches etc. Nuisance tax can be levied on them.

Soap Serial Tax:
All soaps(mega-serials) should be made cry per view. err. pay per view. Every person is allowed to watch 2 serials per day. If they want to watch more than 2 serials, then they need to pay a soap serial tax. Am sure the entire male community and young girls in the country will vote for the ruling party if this tax is in place.

HornTax:
There are lots of people, who honk unnecessarily in traffic. A honk meter can be fitted in every vehicle. Every driver is permitted to honk 50 times in a month. From 51 to 100 honks, per honk can be charged at 10 Rs per honk. From 101 to 250, 12 Rs per honk, and 250+ honks must be charged at a flat rate of 20 Rs per honk.

DedicateTax
There are umpteen music/FM channels in the country. We have viewers/listeners calling up these channels, and dedicate songs. Every person who wants to dedicate a song has to pay 250 Rs as tax/ song.

By implementing the above mentioned taxes, the economy will really boom

All of a sudden I feel like drinking Gold Spot, the zing thing. Neither Mirinda nor Fanta can match the taste of Gold Spot. Sigh

Me: Am going to hyderabad this weekend for a friends wedding. Any interesting tourist places around hyderabad?
Friend: Ramoji Rao film city is there
Me: Err. I dont want to see any film cities. Any good hill station, old temples there?
Friend: Inside Ramoji Rao film city, everything is there
Me: !!!!!!!!

P.S. Anyone knows of good places around hyderabad, apart from Ramoji Rao film city?

13 more days for the 1st race of the season. New teams, new faces, new formations. Probably the last season before god decides to retire!

Due to the commonwealth games, the race begins at Bahrain this year, instead of Australia.

Just cant wait!

Lets say there is a girl X. The chance of getting an intro of X’s friend who is also a girl is, inversely proportional to how cute the friend is.
Sigh!
P.S. This theory does not hold good for accidental meetings

What I would like in this Railway Budget

1. Reduce travelling time, in chennai-mumbai sector. (Guess they need to double the lines between renigunta and solapur. No idea when it will be complete)
2. Train between Bangalore-Mangalore. Bus is not a viable option when you want to take elders
3. Reduce the 40/60 Rs surcharge for e-ticketing. Makes sense to have the surcharge for i-ticket. But why for e-ticket
4. Atleast extend one train in bangalore-coimbatore sector to mettupalayam.
5. Reduce the 2nd and 1st AC fares by 10 % atleast!
6. Wi-Fi in all AC coaches in bangalore-chennai train. As of now its available only in the executive class of the bangalore-chennai shatabdi

Updates: Source: Rediff
Looks like some of my expectations are met

1. 2nd AC fare reduced by 10 % and 1st AC by 18 % I wish to travel in 1st AC, atleast once in lifetime
2. e-ticket rates cut by 20 Rs for AC tickets, and by 15 Rs for sleeper class.

I have some doubts over this decision

Increase the coaches to 24. Apart from major metros, are the platforms en route that long? This is important, if you have to get down on the way for buying snacks/water etc. They have allocated 60 crores for lengthening the platform. Will the increase in no of coaches happen only after the lengthening?

Overall, atleast on paper the budget looks good. Hope they implement atleast 60 % of what they have promised!

Generally roads are laid. In Bannerghatta they are screwed!

Coming Soon

Air Machi

India’s latest low cost no frill airlines to be launched on the 1st of April. For the first time in history of world airlines, we have the following classes

Floor class:
A blanket will spread across the floor. People can sit on the floor. During take off and landing, people can hold onto the ropes hanging from the roof. Bangalore-Chennai will cost 50 Rs, Bangalore-Delhi 375 Rs etc

Standing class:
During take off and landing, Passengers legs will be chained and tied to the floor, and hands will be tied to the roof. Passengers are requested to control their urge for scratching, while take off and landing. Bangalore-Chennai will cost 35 Rs, Bangalore-Delhi 242 Rs.

Since airports charge service tax of 221 rs for every passenger, we have decided to use the cargo complex for check in and check out. And bullock carts will be used to transport the passengers from the cargo complex to the flight.

No need to buy the tickets in advance. After getting into the flight, you can buy tickets from the air-conductor on board. Please tender exact fare for tickets.

Vendors are requested to contact us for monthly passes. Sale of oranges/samosa/vada pav etc allowed within the flight.

P.S. Footboard travel is strictly prohibited.

Not much conversations in this one.

He is going for a team picnic. He is in the organizing kamnaati. Actually He is eyeing a cute She, and wants to utilize the picnic as an opportunity to talk to her. This He is single. Lower your eye brows. Its ok.
2 buses are arranged. He stands at the entrance and asks people to get in the bus. Some 2 minutes after she gets into the bus, He gets in the bus and drops his bag in the front seat. She is sitting in the 4th row with her friend. After a while, they start this boring game of introduction in the bus. People get bored and they start playing dumb charades in the bus. He stands somewhere near the She. She’s friend is full enthu and goes to enact the movie. He pounces on the opportunity, and sits next to She. Deliberately He makes wrong but funny guesses. And people get rearranged in the bus, based on who is enacting.

He: Hi, I am He
She: Me She
He: You in which project?
She: XYZ project
He: Oh is it. Your PM is a good friend of mine. I have come that side so many times. But I have never seen you
She just smiles. Slowly but steadily He and She start conversing.

During the break, He is chatting with his friend.

Friend: Enna da. Semma kadalai pola irukku?
He: Huh? Dai. I just happened to sit next to her da. Summa pesittu dhaan irundhen
Friend: Vera yaar kittayavadhu solluda idhai. Enakku theriyaadha unnai pathi?
He: Summa iruda. Seri naan poi yaarukavadhu edavadhu venumaa kaettutu varen
Friend: Figure kitta pesa pore solluda. Ennathuku indha reason ellam?
He: Poda vennai

The group goes on a trek and incidentally(for others) He is loitering around She. And not to make it look odd, he pulls his friend alongside him. He keeps cracking some jokes making she laugh, and friend giving a ‘ippadi oru pozhappu thevaya’ look. And this friend also cracks some jokes pulling He’s leg. He kku ore J

He: Where do you stay in Bangalore?
She: Maruthi Nagar
He: Oh. I stay at madivala. How do you commute?
She: I have a kinetic.
He: You come via this banneghatta road and go straight is it?
She: Yeah. its horrible
He: There is a short route next to this IBM office in bannerghatta road. No signals and pretty short. Try it out
She: Adhu enga irukku theriyaadhe
He: Inniku after picnic, when we are going home I will show you the route
She: Sure

By this time they have reached some spot. She gets busy talking to her friends

Friend: Dai dai. Idhellam romba over. Madivala kku route kaamichu madikalaam paakariya?
He: Ada cha!

Evening. They are about to get into the bus. At this time He kazhatti vittufies his friend.

She: You are so funny. You remind me a lot of my college friend xx
He: Oh (uLLukkula bayam. Whether that xx will be the villain)

By the time they reach back its around 11 PM.
He: Hey. Its so late now. Why dont you leave your bike in office? I will drop you if its ok with you
She: Hmmm
He: And these days its not safe also. Not advisable to go by bike
She’s PM comes by their side and listens to the conversation
PM: Correct. What he says is correct. Come with me in my car. I will drop you at home.
She: Thanks.
Turns towards He and says bye
He’s friend comes towards him
Friend: Enna machi semma bulb aa?
He:!!!!!!

After the weekend interviews at Pune and Mumbai, my colleagues left back to bangalore. I took 2 days off to roam around somewhere as usual. After breaking my head for half a day, I decided to spend a day and half at Dahanu. Dahanu lies in the border of Maharashtra and Gujarat. Its hardly 125 kms from Mumbai. Its a small town in the coast line facing the arabian sea.
I reached Dahanu by around 10.30 AM on monday. Immediately checked into this Pearline resort facing the beach. I got a decent AC room for 700 Rs. Had a quick breakfast and rushed into the beach.
Initially I was bit disappointed. The sand was bit dark, and the sea looked murkier. Not at all blue. I was wondering if there was an oil slick or something, and asked a localite. He said that the nature of beach in this area was like that. And it is clean There were hardly any one on the beach. Best thing is, just close to the shore there are lot many trees. And they have put up cement slabs for people to sit and relax in the shade, facing the beach. Pretty good!
After a while, went into the swimming pool within the resort, and chilled out for an hour or so. Apart from me and some 3 people from Romania, there were hardly anyone in the resort. Looked like the entire place was deserted(not haunted).
As I had said in my earlier post, I spent the entire evening watching the sunset with hot samosa and tea. After that, roamed around the area for a while. Nothing much to see and it was pitch dark. So returned to the resort for dinner. They have this nice garden restaurant, where they play old hindi songs. Spent close to 2 hrs for dinner listening to these songs. Bliss!
Next day, I got hold of a local rickshaw guy and asked him to take me around Dahanu. He took me to an old fort which is a jail now, and then to a place called Charoati. There is a Mahalaxmi temple on top of the cone shaped hill, within a cave. But they open the cave temple only once in a year during some festival it seems. So went to the temple at the footsteps of the hill and returned back.
On the way back, went to a village called as Ganjad. A famous painter called as Mr Magashe resides here. He is very famous for these adivasi painting made using vegetable colors. Eco-friendly paintings. He has got various awards for his contribution to art. When I went to his house, he wasnt there. He had gone to delhi for some art symposium. Managed to buy few paintings. In case you visit Dahanu, do visit this place and have a look at the paintings. They are mindblowing!
By the time I reached the resort it was around 2 PM. Rushed to the station, got a train and reached Mumbai by evening.
In case you want to spend a peaceful day or two, in and around Mumbai Dahanu is a good choice. Its not far, its not costly. But the silence you get there is priceless

Where is it?
125 kms from mumbai, on the way to ahmedabad

How to go?
You can take a bus/taxi. But best is take a train. Dahanu beach is just 2 kms from the railway station. The station name is Dahanu Road. It comes on the western line. Regular locals run between virar and dahanu road(1 hr from Virar). You can also catch a long distance train to gujarat as well. But please dont commit the mistake I did. I went by this Ferozpur Janta Express. I guess the engine driver is new to this route. Every 15 minutes the train stops. Maybe he was trying to ask the local people for route :P. This train takes 3 hrs for a distance of 120 kms :O

Where to stay?
I stayed at this Pearline resort(Link embedded in the 2nd or 3rd paragraph). It was good. Heard that there is a MTDC resort nearby as well. There are many resorts near the coastline. But do book in advance

What to see?
Apart from the beach, there is not much to see. But if you are a beach animal like me, you will surely enjoy the place!

P.S. Sorry for the photo alignments. No idea why its behaving strangely

Photos from Dahanu

Am at this Dahanu Beach. Sipping hot tea and eating Garma garam Samosa, while watching the sun set. Life is wonderful!